What do you do when you feel trapped in your life. Seriously trapped and stressed. If you cant take anymore but you are trapped in a situation. I have nightmares lately of someone being brutally murdered and online sources say that is my brain telling me I cut a relationship or friendship out. But what if its your life thats in danger of being cut out? Not physically but in terms of loosing everything in order to be free again. But what if that could mean your family. This is what it feels like for me. I am a emotionally and verbally abused woman. I have 4 kids though and feel cant manage everything on my own. So I give and give and he takes and takes. Im afraid there is nothing left of me. Plus with my borderline disorder I have a terrible fear of abandonment and panic attacks that could kill a horse. I feel as though I am teetering on the edge and there is no one to rescue me. So I write on my blog to escape. Christians say Jesus will never leave me but I need him to hang out with me and watch movies or play board games. Jesus.... He is all I really have in this world. I wonder what will become of me. I wonder if I will survive this life. I just try to survive day by day, I am in constant desperation for relief.
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